I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
