my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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