should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
