watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
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I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
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I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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