no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
