i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My bed smells like the plague
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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