Yo dont text me then not text me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
