haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
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she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
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i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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