I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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