So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
