Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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