I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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