I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
