"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm passing your future prison.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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