am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
