Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
