sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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