he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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