Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
