porn star boner night. come get it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize