u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
