my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
