Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
