Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
