I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just blew my weed a kiss
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The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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