On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
