Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
