Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
