so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
