Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
