Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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