Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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