They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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