That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
