I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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