We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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