I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
