he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
