i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
