I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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