i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
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Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
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I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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