Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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