32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize