he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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