Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
