mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
