Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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