I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
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Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
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Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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