nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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