YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
