In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
