Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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