He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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