I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
