The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize