i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
