Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
