official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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