is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Green mimosas i think yes
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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