She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
