"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
