I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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