Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
