so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
